22 days

22 days...it's been 22 days since J has been home. Not a fan. Don't like it. Hate it. Miss him. My girls miss him. The dogs miss him. He is normally gone 8 days, I don't like that either but 22 days..blah. I know he misses us also, he sounds so sad when he calls in the mornign when he gets off and our phone calls before he goes in that night are mainly I love yous and I miss yous. I can't wait to be homes.

 

Then I feel super sad. I KNOW that we are lucky that he is working and has a great job. He can provide for us and I get to stay home with our girls. I LOVE that. I know he doesn't like being away from us, but I also know that he loves his job. He really likes doing what he does. More power to him, I've seen his work clothes. Eww. I've also smelled them, even more Eww.

 

 

For more than half of the year I am a single mom. He is not home everynight to help Kaity with her homework or to build Kynni's LaLaLoopsy house when it falls off the tree thing. The girls miss him like crazy. Kaity says at least 3 times a day that she wishes that Daddy would go back to work at Coke so he was home everynight to tuck her in. She remembers him being home everyday. Kynni doesn't know any different, and up until about a month ago it didnt seem to affect her. I think she is old enough now to know that daddy is not home. She cries for him everynight at bedtime, when she gets in trouble and several times randomly thru out the day. I tell her Daddy is at work, and she will say..Daddy wokin at da wig, come home soon. But then has such a sad look on her face.

 

As much as I know they miss him, I think I miss him more. I've slept on the couch for 21 days now...I tried sleeping in our bed last night, epic fail {and it didn't hlp that Kynni peed all over me}. So here I am back on the couch. My back hurts, and Ana {our, well my lab} takes up most of it! But no matter how hard I try I can't sleep in our bed, I miss him even more when I am in there. I think because his pillow smells like him and I have to sleep with it. We have been together for 11 1/2 years, and on May 17th we will have been married for 10 years!! Until May 15, 2006 we had only spent about 10 nights apart from each other. We started dating June 18, 2001, he moved in with me {and my parents} at the end of August. I KNEW from the first time I met him {way before June 18, 2001 BTW} that I loved him. He was going to join the marines, I said NO WAY move in with me...and he did. He really is amazing. Not a mean or ugly bone in his whole body. If he can do something for someone he will do it. I know he loves me unconditionly. He doesn't mind me going on and on about Christian Grey, Edward Cullen...or Ian Somerhaulder and Channing Tatum for that matter.

 

He doesn't mind that I spend way too much money on fabric, ribbon, clothes for the girls, shoes for the girls, Monster High dolls, My Little Ponies and now beads. He doesn't mind that keeping the house SPOTLESS is not high on my to do list. When he is home I just want to be with him. We lay on the couch watching hours and hours of DVR and movies, and are happy. I rub his back and then he conveniently falls asleep before he can rub mine, and I don't even care, because he is there to hold me. I don't mind that when he is home he holds me so tight that I can't move. We still hold hands all the time, he tells me he loves me when we are grocery shopping, I tell him I adore him at dinner. He takes my breath away.

 

 

 

He misses holidays {so far he has worked EVERY major holiday for the past 6 years, he got to come home Christmas day this year, but that was a HUGE surprise!}, he misses birthdays, anniversaries, wedding, funerals...you name it I'm sure he has missed it. We are used to early and late birthday parties.

 

We find out hopefully tomorrow if his transfer paper work is done, if it is {or is done before NEXT Wednesday} he will get to work MUCH MUCH closer to home. Be HOME most nights, well days I guess..he works nights. Do you know how AMAZING that will be? I can hardly stand it, and if things don't work out I will be crushed. But we will live...just like we have for the past 6 1/2 years...but our lives will be spit by 2 weeks, and not 1 week. He will go to work for 2 weeks and come home for 2 weeks. I certainly hope and pray things work out and he is transfered to a more local rig.

 

 

I am so lucky that I have Kaity & Kynni to keep me company all day and night. That I have Shawnna and Marissa to come over and have Magic Mike Monday Bow night {and give me some MUCH needed Mommy time..and naked Channing Tatum time} My dad, step mom{ish} and Memal to help me out when I need it. I love you all. I couldn't do it without you!

 

GoodNight! I am going to TRY to sleep a few hours before I have to get Kaity up and ready for another school week!